It seemed to be world War 2. I was a spy speaking German. I was with to other women who also were spies. I was in a building that was a work place but also housing. I needed placemats for dinner. So I snuck out and down some stairs to find some. I only had two. The pattern was black background and gold interscting lines at a diagonal. The dishes and silverware were not yet placed. I had set something in front of on of the mats at the head of the table to indicate it was my spot. When the others came to sit one of the women took my place. I noticed I had set a black box the size of my phone but taller there. I was annoyed but went out to get another placemat. This time there was a blond women with her hair in a bun where I got the mats. I tried to speak German and ask about getting another one. She pointed at the stack and mocked my speaking. I knew I must have said the wrong word for placemat. It felt like gibberish coming out as I spoke. I tried to find a matching one but the woman reached for a phone. So i grab the next mat i came to. It was tan with a repeating rose pattern. I ran back to the apartment and told them my cover was blown. I rushed into my room and began throwing things into a duffle bag. I yell at one to get my toiletries and that we didnt have much time. We heard the door open. I ran into the closet to try to hide behind the hanging clothes. I tried to make sure my legs were hidden behind long dress and my feet behind shoes. I ended up being higher than the top of the clothes so I could see who enter. There was another row of hanging clothes in front of me and there where no doors on the closet. A man entered in a gray trench coat. He was stocky and had dark hair. he began looking around the room. I hoped he didn't see the duffle bag. He came into the closet but did not see me so he turned around and exited the closet. Then a small boy entered wearing a red sweater and nickers. He wandered into the closet and saw me. I put my fingers to my lips. He turned around to leave when another man entered looking for the boy. He was the boy in the closet went in to grab him and also saw me. The man was wearing a light grey suit and hat. As he was leaving he told the other man there was someone in the closet. He left as the other man came back into the closet. I lunged at him got my hands around his neck to choke him. In the process in knocked him down. I knew that I had him and that any fighting on his part wouldn't help him. I yelled at the other girls say to also pack because they were now comprised to. I thought about breaking his neck to silence him. Next thing I know I am walking with a bag slung over my shoulder wearing a long coat over a shirt and skirt with a hat on, through a store that was very warm brown. The front of the store was also a check point that I had to go through to get out. The woman there had brown curly hair pulled back under a hat. I gave her a book and a matching picture. She looked at them closely. Returned them to me, game me a paper that looked like a wide receit and told me to give it to the women on my way out. I am exiting and looking around for the women to had my paper to. She was siting behind a podium looking object. She took my paper and I knew that I had made it out. I was then stopped by some people eating. The colors where more grey now. There was I think a group of four but I only talked to two of them. Both men one older with a mustache and one younger. The older one said that the younger one was looking for a woman to cast in a movie. The younger man said yes he was that he needed someone a bit overwight and a few other things that I don't recall. I was leaning on the older man's chair with one hand on the back and my other on my hip.and my feet crossed. I realized he was describing me and felt flattered. I spoke to him in a British accent. I don't remember what I said. Then my dream morphed to me watching a man running. He looked like he was making sure he wasn't follow. He was carrying something. He come to a group of people and he gave the bundle to them. It seemed like he not the first time. He said he wasn't feeling g well and that he is starting to smell like licorice. They were angry with him and wanted him to continue. He said he was injecting himself with as much as he could but the went happy and left him. I knew that the smell was because he was at lethal dosing. He was then sitting at a table and I came up to him. He did not look well. I asked him of he remembered me. I told him that he knew my by Loretta Hansen and he used to call me Lettie. I knew I looked different, thinner then the last time he saw me. I also knew that he was the young man that hired me for the movie. I told him that it wasn't my real name. That I had gone by many. I knew that the war was over and that i was done being a spy. He asked if could know my real name and I whispered in his ear, my actual name. Then I woke up.
Dreams like this one often weave together various elements of your subconscious, reflecting your thoughts, fears, and experiences. Let's break down some of the key symbols and themes in your dream:
War and Espionage: The setting of World War II and your role as a spy may symbolize feelings of conflict in your waking life. You may be navigating a situation where you feel the need to conceal your true self or intentions, perhaps due to external pressures or expectations. Being a spy suggests a need for careful observation and strategy, hinting at feelings of vulnerability or the necessity to protect yourself.
Language and Communication: Speaking German and feeling like your words were gibberish indicates struggles with communication or feeling misunderstood. This might reflect a fear of not being able to express yourself properly, either in personal relationships or professional settings.
The Placemat and Dinner Setting: The dinner table often represents community and relationships, and your need for placemats can signify your desire for a place within a group, or your need to belong and assert your identity. The conflict over your spot at the table may reflect feelings of competition or a lack of recognition in your social or work life.
Hiding and Escape: The act of hiding in the closet and packing a bag conveys feelings of urgency and the need to escape from a situation that feels threatening or precarious. This indicates a desire for safety or a need to retreat from pressures in your life.
The Kid Encounter: The presence of the small boy who almost discovers you may represent innocence or vulnerability. It could suggest that there are aspects of your life or personality that you wish to protect, including your inner child or simpler, more innocent aspects of yourself.
Casting for a Movie: The transition to being approached for a role in a film hints at desires for recognition, validation, or even transformation. Feeling flattered by the older man’s description of you suggests that there may be an appreciation for your true self, and an acknowledgment of your worth that you might be overlooking.
The Sick Man: The later encounter with the man who is unwell could symbolize someone from your past or parts of yourself that you are now letting go of, especially since you mention that you had been a spy and are now done with that life. The connection to your real name suggests wanting to reclaim your identity and move beyond previous roles or masks you've worn.
Transformation and Identity: Overall, the dream portrays a journey from concealment and struggle to self-acceptance and resolution. The theme of revealing your true name signals a transition toward authenticity and the desire to live a life that aligns more genuinely with who you are.
In summary, this dream reflects your inner conflicts regarding identity and belonging, your need for security and communication, and your journey toward self-acceptance. It may be urging you to embrace your true self and confront the pressures that inhibit that authenticity. Consider reflecting on areas in your life where you might be hiding or feeling misunderstood, and think about how you can move toward a more fulfilling, authentic existence.